An Affair With Life

 

I see romance a bit differently- and the lenses through which I view romance is one of 'realism' with a dash of idealism and a pinch of romanticism. It is not when someone gazes into your  eyes... it is when you are both looking together in the same direction…

As someone said - “Don’t look for a firecracker, look for a fireplace” ...  "Fireplace over firework" represents the decision of choosing a consistent, persevering relationship similar to a comfortable fireplace over a temporary, hazardous relationship looking like a firework. 

But first let’s try to define what is romance and falling in love. The first question that always comes to my mind is why it is falling, why not rising. It seems with all humility when we submit, and when the flow of relationship is no longer intercepted by "I, Me, Myself' and issues of ego and selfish pride, then it is true love. Then why is that that we speak about romance as an indulgent selfish emotion. Romance cannot be so romantic if its positivity is only restricted to one or two individuals to benefit from its powerful energy. Instead, it is the positive flow of energy that makes the world move the way it is, that keeps relationships going and humanity intact in this world.

Each one of us has a romantic relationship sooner or later... the question arises is the romantic relationship with opposite sex the only one worth celebrating and rejoicing and discussing. Isn’t there romance in every moment of life... depends on how you view it, but for me there are heartwarming moments and soul stirring experiences which qualify as ‘real romance’ and make me fall in love with life itself –and make me exclaim that indeed 'Life is beautiful.’

So what is romance... to me, romance is when all members in my family are in good health and spirits and love flows from one to another unhindered... romance is when on a Monday morning I wake up and see hubby going to work, children going to school and college and i settle with my cuppa chai with my laptop and there is a semblance of normalcy, security and comfort even in mundane routine. Romance is when my article has turned out better than I could have imagined, that it makes me swell with pride; romance is every time I see my byline and fall in love with my own name. Or as a parent, when I see my 14-year-old speaking on the stage, shining like a polished diamond on the stage in front of august crowd... or when my little nephew and niece and tiny tots of their age, rekindle in me a ‘sense of wonder’ as well as a ‘sense of surprise’ by their innocent observations that lend drama to dull life. Parenting indeed is our ‘second childhood’ since we hardly remember anything of our childhood other than accounts we hear from our parents- each one of us fortunate to become a parent relives childhood through the children. And there are romantic moments galore in this entire process of creation of life, nurturing of it and preservation.

On a different note, since parenting is more about giving, there is a romance in, once-in- a-while treating yourself royally and having fun as well. Narcissistic as it may sound, one may be in love with oneself and be happy to be indulgent... so whether it is a cup of frothy coffee, a day of massage at the spa or relishing a meal at one’s favourite restaurant in town or buying favourite dress ... romance with the self seems to never end... not for me at least.. I always put myself in the centre of my universe, unapologetically and unabashedly. If I am not happy, how can I make anyone else happy. 

It is also romantic, when I start my day by having breakfast with mom and dad and have Ma ke haath ka parantha or my favourite South Indian made by mom, with endless conversations about the week ahead and goings on in life. Or when after a hard day’s work I sit down chatting with my husband over a cuppa chai, breezing and skimming through the day's events! Rains in the backdrop may provide the perfect setting. Though I truly believe that great moments are to be experienced and for that, putting up a big stage and setting kills the spontaneity of the experience.

Romance is even in watching a work of art, either on television or in books, anything that makes you dream a little deeper and think a little wider. Anything that challenges your thought process and widens the horizon and scale of thinking is romantic and interesting. Romance is there in a great conversation- not necessarily with your beloved but with strangers who can stimulate your mind. And my profession is such that I meet enough of them:) 

Then, there are people who are ‘feel good’ factors in one's life.. they draw out the best in you and make you fall in love more with yourself or life .. they again account for romance, as per my dictionary.

On a radically different but significantly interesting note, romance is when you love to hate a person, since you love him to start with- so when you fight, debate, argue and think it is worth confronting the person as he matters to you, rather than turning a blind eye or looking the other way, it is romance of another order. 

Romance is also about the rising of confidence in oneself about doing and executing something; and better, the confidence you may have in one or two others around you that they will 'always be there' for you.

Which brings us to the next question- What is unromantic? It is a breach of trust by someone whom you considered trustworthy, be it even the housemaid who didn't turn up the time you needed her most, it may be about the death of someone who means a lot to you or death of that fine thread that strung the relationship so far but no further... it could be the death of confidence in oneself to do to perform or execute.  

For a sensitive person, romance is there in anything and everything. It is a way of life. If you live life to the fullest, with utmost devotion, with mindfulness, heartfulness, soulfulness... there is romance in every minute, in every moment of life. Don't they say that life is a gift from God ... and that's why it is called the Present.