Skip to main content

Separation or Resolution: What Works For Women

 

By Namrata Kohli 
Columnist Woman Wise

Recently we heard the news of AR Rahman and Saira separating after 29 years. Rahman shared on social media, stating, "We had hoped to reach the grand thirty, but all things, it seems, carry an unseen end."

A couple of days ago, I was reading about Sarika (who had a love marriage with actor Kamal Hassan) and after sixteen years of marriage, she was left homeless after her separation from the actor. She had nothing but a car to her name and spent nights in it. That image kept running in my mind like a breaking news scroll.  

It made me wonder— across different kinds of marriages, why is divorce/separation becoming so rampant? Why do couples separate after decades of marriage, and when children are there in the picture? No this isn’t about Kamal’s divorce or ARR’s personal matters—it’s about divorce and separation itself. When couples separate early in life, there’s a certain meaning or hope for starting over. But when you’re in your 40s or 50s, why do people make such decisions? When we’ve lost our youth and grown older, what’s the point of making such drastic decisions especially when the cost of divorce is disproportionately high for one person- usually the women. So shouldn’t there be a fair and more humane solution? 

After all, living separately doesn’t always require legal separation. Sadhguru says divorce should be avoided as much as can be and even calls it “voluntary death – you have decided to kill something that is a part of you.” Divorce and widowhood are the same in the sense that both types of dissolutions have negative and prolonged consequences.

Bad, boring, even bitter patches are normal in every long-term relationship. Disagreements happen in every relationship. Don’t they happen between father and son, mother and daughter, brother and sister… simply because you have an Exit option in the husband wife relationship, you opt for the 'Delete' button.

Separation is never the only solution and the decision for resolution or separation should be well analysed and done with more objectvity– we have to think before acting.

They say it takes two to tango but women need to realize the power of one – It takes a spark to ignite the fire. The ripple effect starts with a single drop. One voice can move the mountains and one small step for man was one giant leap for mankind.

Take charge of your life—know what works best for you and hold the remote to your own destiny. Bend, mend, bow, make, break- you can be the change that you want to see.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Telemedicine to the aid of home-bound patients in the time of Covid-19

Telemedicine in covid-19 times: You can get to the doctor almost anytime, anywhere, be it on your screen, via voice or plain text for a lower price than in-person consult Namrata Kohli   |   New Delhi Telehealth is bridging the gap between patient and physicians. The physician can now virtually visit the stay-at-home patient and heal from a distance Telemedicine in covid-19 times:  When 37-year-old Priyanka was down with fever and dry cough, she decided to consult a doctor over a WhatsApp call before giving her blood sample for an RT-PCR test. Based on her symptoms, the physician alerted her that it wasn't a mild Covid infection but a moderate one. His diagnosis was confirmed when the test report showed a viral load count of 20. “The massive benefits of telemedicine became evident during the pandemic,” says Priyanka’s doctor, New Delhi-based consultant physician Dr Arvind Kumar. “Everything is about time and if my patients have complications late at ni...

Gwalior is in Guinness: Tansen Sangeet Samaroh 2024

  Gwalior is in Guinness: Tansen Sangeet Samaroh 2024 By Namrata Kohli History was created at the centenary celebration of the “Tansen Sangeet Samaroh 2024” at Gwalior where a musical ensemble entered the Guinness Book of World Records. The Tansen music festival was hosted by the UNESCO City of Music, Gwalior in its hundredth edition from 15-19 December 2024, in the backdrop of the historic Gwalior Fort and Tansen Tomb. Guiness had set several stringent criteria for evaluation- a minimum of 300 artists playing at least four instruments, and three songs spanning two minutes each. But the musical ensemble composed by renowned flute player Pandit Ronu Majumdar far surpassed all these criteria. Said Majumdar- “We had 563 artists. I was told by the Indian representative of Guinness that in any international evaluation of legends like Mozart, Beethoven, or   Sangeet samrat   Tansen, we need three songs and each song should be of minimum two minutes duration. So far, I was only ...

Alone in the City: Silent Struggles of Small-Town Women

  A journalist from Indore moves to Delhi to work with a leading media house in New Delhi. A classically trained female musician from Kanpur finds it difficult to pursue her unconventional career in a non-metro, and moves to Mumbai in search of name, fame, money. A fashion designer from Jaipur relocates to Delhi to intern with top designers. A fresh engineering graduate based out of Bikaner moves to Gurgaon because the “pay is significantly higher in metros and opportunities for growth are also there. Here I may earn Rs 20,000 as against a good Rs 60,000- Rs 1,00,000 in a metro. My town has no MNCs, corporate hubs and no exposure to big opportunities. Staying in my cocoon means goodbye to growth.” Beyond finances, young women from Tier-2 and Tier-3 cities are migrating to metros for freedom. They want financial independence, away from family control. It’s an escape from the small-town patriarchy —no curfews on timings and dress codes and more importantly, no pressure to “settle dow...