Separation or Resolution: What Works For Women

By Namrata Kohli
Columnist Woman Wise

Recently we heard the news of AR Rahman and Saira separating after 29 years. Rahman shared on social media, stating, "We had hoped to reach the grand thirty, but all things, it seems, carry an unseen end."

A couple of days ago, I was reading about Sarika (who had a love marriage with actor Kamal Hassan) and after sixteen years of marriage, she was left homeless after her separation from the actor. She had nothing but a car to her name and spent nights in it. That image kept running in my mind like a breaking news scroll.

It made me wonder— across different kinds of marriages, why is divorce/separation becoming so rampant? Why do couples separate after decades of marriage, and when children are there in the picture? No this isn’t about Kamal’s divorce or ARR’s personal matters—it’s about divorce and separation itself. When couples separate early in life, there’s a certain meaning or hope for starting over. But when you’re in your 40s or 50s, why do people make such decisions? When we’ve lost our youth and grown older, what’s the point of making such drastic decisions especially when the cost of divorce is disproportionately high for one person- usually the women. So shouldn’t there be a fair and more humane solution?

After all, living separately doesn’t always require legal separation. Sadhguru says divorce should be avoided as much as can be and even calls it “voluntary death – you have decided to kill something that is a part of you.” Divorce and widowhood are the same in the sense that both types of dissolutions have negative and prolonged consequences.

Bad, boring, even bitter patches are normal in every long-term relationship. Disagreements happen in every relationship. Don’t they happen between father and son, mother and daughter, brother and sister… simply because you have an Exit option in the husband wife relationship, you opt for the 'Delete' button.

Separation is never the only solution and the decision for resolution or separation should be well analysed and done with more objectvity– we have to think before acting.

They say it takes two to tango but women need to realize the power of one – It takes a spark to ignite the fire. The ripple effect starts with a single drop. One voice can move the mountains and one small step for man was one giant leap for mankind.

Take charge of your life—know what works best for you and hold the remote to your own destiny. Bend, mend, bow, make, break- you can be the change that you want to see.

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