The saas bahu saga has for long dominated the Indian soap opera industry. And not without reason, as women have hardly been each other’s supporters, leave alone cheerleaders. The mother-in-law had almost become the monster-in-law in desi K-dramas but like everything changes, her role is slowly but surely getting redefined- not just in reel space but also in real space.
It’s the era of return of the matriarch and the joint family system with the mother-in-law being considered a key figure who makes a house a home.
And the evidence is everywhere, especially in affluent India. There are enough examples of three generations staying together. The second generation in the late 30s or 40s - the busiest lot battling their mid life crisis plus job, kids, parents - are mostly in responsible positions in their careers, have all the money and no time. The children are also more full of activity today than ever. It’s the grandparents who, as they say, are in their “bonus” years and have tremendous experience to fill in every role from being a guide to the gatekeeper and everything in between.
Real estate trends point in that direction and the latest luxury homes are being built to accommodate multi-generational families to stay under one roof. Developers are focusing on building spacious apartments (4BHK or larger) and independent villas to cater to joint families. Then there are duplex apartments and penthouses and all of these include dual kitchens (main and auxiliary) to meet the diverse needs of families. Yes, separate kitchens which allows them to maintain their preferences without compromising the main household’s meal preparation. Senior members may have specific dietary needs or traditional cooking methods but most importantly, it empowers the silver citizens to retain a sense of independence, identity by managing their meals without relying on others. They may want to pamper the grandchildren with some savouries like kheer, gajar halwa that they have been most famous for making and always made their way. They have lifts for mobility, non slippery flooring in their bathrooms and separate staff for themselves.
In particular, it’s the mother figure who holds a very key role in setting the tone of the family. Why is a mother or a mother-in-law more relevant in today’s day and age? Families are messy… you don’t know when a child will fall ill, when the emergency call comes from school or when unexpected guests land up at home or someone falls ill. There are way too many unforeseen events especially when it comes to keeping supervision on the children, the staff. Like they say, mothers have eyes even on their back referring to how alert they are to signs and signals of some anomaly, also alluding to their third eye or intuitive power - the mother figure plays an eminent role in supporting, guiding, and shaping the family.
From a psychological perspective, the mother-in-law relationship affects emotional health and family cohesion. Researchers have studied how these relationships can impact marital satisfaction and family stability, as the mother-in-law often symbolizes an extension of the partner’s identity and upbringing.
Like in everything else, the trend has started with Affluent India. Like the sustainability movement which started with HNIs wearing linen shirts and making it a style statement until it percolated down to the other sections of society. With enough money being there at everyone’s disposal, it’s the end of the road of petty fights between the members. Rather, the middle generation is keeping enough staff just for parents apart from their children and everything has changed for the better – Money, Moolah, Manor (luxury home) and mother-in-law – all have adapted to the changing times and have understood that united we stand and divided we fall. Culturally, matriarchal blessings are sought in many rituals, and female guardians have always played a vital role in lineage, protection, and prosperity of families.
It’s a win-win situation for all. Elderly members are cared for within the family, and younger generations benefit from the guidance and support of elders. After all, after money, status, power – what you need to stay happy is a relationship. And the line from film Deewar that echoes every son’s sentiment in India – 'Mere Paas Maa Hai'.
Comments
Post a Comment