Skip to main content

What is Love?

 


It’s the season of love- the month of Valentine’s. However, the madness was palpably missing this year on 14 February at least in the capital city for some strange reason. While on my way to attend a fireside chat with Karan Johar at New Delhi’s luxury hotel known for its old-world charm (as part of the Indian Chambers of Commerce (ICC) centenary celebrations) I was wondering if the old-world charm of "love" has worn away by the visibly thanda looking Dilli roads. I was still registering the general lack of Valentine’s Day fervour, when the host introduced KJo saying- “I want to thank Karan for taking out time even on a Valentine’s Day” to which KJo replied in his characteristic witty style – “which, by the way, doesn’t speak volumes about my love life.” The man who taught the world how to love through his romantic movies said he was happiest being single and skipping marriage for kids- “In my personal life I was smart and skipped that part to the best part of having children. Being single, you have zero baggage, no drama and multiple options, what's not to celebrate?? Happy Valentine's Day".

That set me thinking about the changing concept of love.. and how there is almost a “love churn” in our society. 

Today, self-love is prioritized before romantic love. People believe in healing, setting boundaries, and leaving toxic relationships instead of staying out of obligation. And relationships are more fluid—people recognize that not all love lasts forever, leading to an increase in breakups, divorces, and second marriages. Concepts like situationships, open relationships, and conscious uncoupling are becoming mainstream.

Earlier in traditional societies, love was secondary to marriage, which was based on family, duty, and social status. Arranged marriages and societal expectations dictated relationships. But from duty to choice, love is now about personal fulfilment, emotional connection, and compatibility. People prioritize self-growth and happiness in relationships, often leading to delayed marriages or non-traditional partnerships. Why is it that people are not getting married easily? They are taking time to figure out their love, their life, their partner.

Earlier love was tied to commitment, ownership, and exclusivity. Jealousy and being possessive were often seen as a sign of love. It was about finding the one to “complete” you. Sacrifice was seen as proof of love. Women often lost themselves in relationships. Now women want a love that complements, not completes them.

Love in 2025 certainly goes beyond traditional roles. Earlier relationships followed rigid gender expectations—men were providers, women were nurturers. But today, love is a choice, not compulsion.



So what kind of love is today’s woman seeking? The modern woman’s expectations from love and relationships have evolved significantly. Unlike previous generations, where love was often linked to security, duty, or societal norms, today's woman seeks partnership, growth, and emotional fulfilment. Today’s woman seeks a love that liberates, not restricts. She desires a partner, not an authority. Support, respect, and emotional depth matter more than labels and societal expectations. A love that feels like freedom, not a cage.

Earlier, a woman was expected to prioritize her relationship over her career and ambitions. But today’s woman seeks love that allows her to thrive professionally, personally, emotionally. She wants someone supportive of her career, respects her space and individuality and encourages personal growth. A relationship where both partners cheer for each other’s success rather than competing or controlling. So, a love that allows you to blossom into a better human being in every whichever way– that’s what today’s woman wants.

A modern woman prioritizes mental health over staying in a draining relationship just for the sake of love. A woman today would rather be single and happy than trapped in a forced relationship.

Also commitment to one partner does not mean divorce from other relationships. A good romantic relationship allows you to thrive in all your other ones as well. Then, be it your girlfriends, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and of course parents and siblings. Like they say, it takes a village to complete a person. Your life is your life and your relations are your relations and your partner is not expected to be present on all occasions and pretend that he is enjoying even though he may be sulking inside. Romance is about letting your partner be the best version of herself and be the wind below her wings.  

Love is no longer one-size-fits-all. The idea of love may keep evolving in every decade of your relationship. But what should not change is mutual care, understanding and the bond of friendship that you share with your partner. 

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Telemedicine to the aid of home-bound patients in the time of Covid-19

Telemedicine in covid-19 times: You can get to the doctor almost anytime, anywhere, be it on your screen, via voice or plain text for a lower price than in-person consult Namrata Kohli   |   New Delhi Telehealth is bridging the gap between patient and physicians. The physician can now virtually visit the stay-at-home patient and heal from a distance Telemedicine in covid-19 times:  When 37-year-old Priyanka was down with fever and dry cough, she decided to consult a doctor over a WhatsApp call before giving her blood sample for an RT-PCR test. Based on her symptoms, the physician alerted her that it wasn't a mild Covid infection but a moderate one. His diagnosis was confirmed when the test report showed a viral load count of 20. “The massive benefits of telemedicine became evident during the pandemic,” says Priyanka’s doctor, New Delhi-based consultant physician Dr Arvind Kumar. “Everything is about time and if my patients have complications late at ni...

Gwalior is in Guinness: Tansen Sangeet Samaroh 2024

  Gwalior is in Guinness: Tansen Sangeet Samaroh 2024 By Namrata Kohli History was created at the centenary celebration of the “Tansen Sangeet Samaroh 2024” at Gwalior where a musical ensemble entered the Guinness Book of World Records. The Tansen music festival was hosted by the UNESCO City of Music, Gwalior in its hundredth edition from 15-19 December 2024, in the backdrop of the historic Gwalior Fort and Tansen Tomb. Guiness had set several stringent criteria for evaluation- a minimum of 300 artists playing at least four instruments, and three songs spanning two minutes each. But the musical ensemble composed by renowned flute player Pandit Ronu Majumdar far surpassed all these criteria. Said Majumdar- “We had 563 artists. I was told by the Indian representative of Guinness that in any international evaluation of legends like Mozart, Beethoven, or   Sangeet samrat   Tansen, we need three songs and each song should be of minimum two minutes duration. So far, I was only ...

Musings of a Menopausal Woman

   By Namrata Kohli  I was chatting with a gynecologist, and she told me that the most neglected aspect of a woman is her health and how extra careful women ought to be esp during menopause, but they never consult unless a calamity happens. I told her that as a woman in my forties, I plead guilty of the same crime until there is a storm (read health-tsunami of sorts). But I looked at this opportunity to explore more on this intriguing subject plus educate others and myself.  But first what's not menopause. "Don’t confuse heavy bleeding with menopause or 15–20-day cycle ever with menopause," Delhi based gynecologist Dr Sunita Nagpal tells me- "In fact, quite on the contrary, the number of days of the cycle tends to decrease and the gap between the two cycles tends to increase during menopause. But when there is excessive bleeding, there could be certain underlying pathology that needs to be investigated. " So what is menopause exactly? Like our skin ages and has ...