What is Love?

 

It’s the season of love- the month of Valentine’s. However, the madness was palpably missing this year on 14 February at least in the capital city for some strange reason. While on my way to attend a fireside chat with Karan Johar at New Delhi’s luxury hotel known for its old-world charm (as part of the Indian Chambers of Commerce (ICC) centenary celebrations) I was wondering if the old-world charm of "love" has worn away by the visibly thanda looking Dilli roads. I was still registering the general lack of Valentine’s Day fervour, when the host introduced KJo saying- “I want to thank Karan for taking out time even on a Valentine’s Day” to which KJo replied in his characteristic witty style – “which, by the way, doesn’t speak volumes about my love life.” The man who taught the world how to love through his romantic movies said he was happiest being single and skipping marriage for kids- “In my personal life I was smart and skipped that part to the best part of having children. Being single, you have zero baggage, no drama and multiple options, what's not to celebrate?? Happy Valentine's Day".

That set me thinking about the changing concept of love.. and how there is almost a “love churn” in our society. 

Today, self-love is prioritized before romantic love. People believe in healing, setting boundaries, and leaving toxic relationships instead of staying out of obligation. And relationships are more fluid—people recognize that not all love lasts forever, leading to an increase in breakups, divorces, and second marriages. Concepts like situationships, open relationships, and conscious uncoupling are becoming mainstream.

Earlier in traditional societies, love was secondary to marriage, which was based on family, duty, and social status. Arranged marriages and societal expectations dictated relationships. But from duty to choice, love is now about personal fulfilment, emotional connection, and compatibility. People prioritize self-growth and happiness in relationships, often leading to delayed marriages or non-traditional partnerships. Why is it that people are not getting married easily? They are taking time to figure out their love, their life, their partner.

Earlier love was tied to commitment, ownership, and exclusivity. Jealousy and being possessive were often seen as a sign of love. It was about finding the one to “complete” you. Sacrifice was seen as proof of love. Women often lost themselves in relationships. Now women want a love that complements, not completes them.

Love in 2025 certainly goes beyond traditional roles. Earlier relationships followed rigid gender expectations—men were providers, women were nurturers. But today, love is a choice, not compulsion.

So what kind of love is today’s woman seeking? The modern woman’s expectations from love and relationships have evolved significantly. Unlike previous generations, where love was often linked to security, duty, or societal norms, today's woman seeks partnership, growth, and emotional fulfilment. Today’s woman seeks a love that liberates, not restricts. She desires a partner, not an authority. Support, respect, and emotional depth matter more than labels and societal expectations. A love that feels like freedom, not a cage.

Earlier, a woman was expected to prioritize her relationship over her career and ambitions. But today’s woman seeks love that allows her to thrive professionally, personally, emotionally. She wants someone supportive of her career, respects her space and individuality and encourages personal growth. A relationship where both partners cheer for each other’s success rather than competing or controlling. So, a love that allows you to blossom into a better human being in every whichever way– that’s what today’s woman wants.

A modern woman prioritizes mental health over staying in a draining relationship just for the sake of love. A woman today would rather be single and happy than trapped in a forced relationship.

Also commitment to one partner does not mean divorce from other relationships. A good romantic relationship allows you to thrive in all your other ones as well. Then, be it your girlfriends, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and of course parents and siblings. Like they say, it takes a village to complete a person. Your life is your life and your relations are your relations and your partner is not expected to be present on all occasions and pretend that he is enjoying even though he may be sulking inside. Romance is about letting your partner be the best version of herself and be the wind below her wings.  

Love is no longer one-size-fits-all. The idea of love may keep evolving in every decade of your relationship. But what should not change is mutual care, understanding and the bond of friendship that you share with your partner.